The road to UTMB - Chapter 2 - North Face NY 2019

The North Face Bear Mountain 50 miler is my eighth or ninth 50 miler, depending on if you count the 54 miler Maintou’s Revenge as a 50.  This race was my first 50 miler 4 years ago.  Back then, I went into races without training - I easily got away with finishing marathons (at a slow 5 hours+) without worry of DNF.  Here I found myself chasing cutoffs from around mile 20.  I really didn’t think I would make it past the first hard cut at mile 29.  I was somewhat content with that, at least I would have gotten a marathon in.  I got a second wind and made that cutoff with 10 minutes to spare.  I saw the despair of the back of the pack in ultras.  People mentally broken, struggling to move their bodies.  It’s a lot different than my experiences at road marathons.  There, even the back of the pack is cheerful.  Here is looked more like people trying to survive.  I struggled through to the next aid station where I got revived just in time from the encouragement of the volunteers.  I ran the rest of the race hard, making it through the 41 mile hard cut off with 2 minutes to spare and the final 14 hour cutoff with 4 minutes.  The race taught me about low points (“the wall”) that everyone experiences at marathons but it also taught me about the high point that comes shortly after.  I ran the 50k version of the race in 2016 and the memories of the volunteers that cheered for me rang strong in my head.  I skipped 2017 and in 2018 I volunteered at an aid station, I made a special point to try to encourage the back of the packers and afterwards caught up with some friends and cheered on till the last finishers.  The area is also the location of my first and second hikes.  The first of which I was fairly overweight and struggled through the whole way.  So I had a lot of emotional attachment to the location and race which I thought would be advantageous to my performance, more so than simply having knowledge of the course.  With Lake Somona as my long run 3 week before and feeling well recovered, I felt like I was in good shape for the race.  It rained all night the day before the race which I knew would lead to many muddy spots.  This removed the stress of any time goals.
I decided to not to do the official shakeout run with Dean Karnazes the day before because it started at 7 am and I thought it better to sleep in a bit more two days before since I won’t get that chance the night before the race (race started at 5 am but the last shuttle to the start from the parking lot left at 4:15 am).  I did a short shakeout during lunch as I ran to bib pickup and back.  I opted to go to work, go home straight afterwards and then sleep early.  I figured if I slept at 8 pm, I could get almost 6 hours of sleep before waking up, set my bag and then make it to the shuttle bus to the start.  I ended up going to sleep at 8:40 and got about 5 hours of sleep. 

Things in the morning were going well till I realized I didn’t wash my QDR singlet from the Leatherman’s loop six days ago.  I had left it in a bag in my car and it had skipped my usual laundry run.  I didn’t have another tried and true racing shirt or singlet so I quickly put it into the washer on quick wash mode and then got in the dryer for 10ish minutes.  I decided to just go with it and hang it in the car.  A few minutes later, in the car I decided I should just wear it and let my body heat dry it out.  Another lesson!  Always pack your things beforehand.  Making things a bit more complicated was my strategy of carrying water and gels via three methods for the race.  With two drops bag points that I would hit at miles 23, 29, and 41 (you do hit the first bag drop point at mile 4 but that’s really too soon for anything) I would use my Ultimate Direction North racing vest (with the GPS/cell phone cover removed) till mile 23.  Then I would drop the vest into my drop bag, grab some gels and a 16 oz. hand bottle for the next 6 mile loop which ends back at the same mile 23 bag drop.  Next I would drop the bottle and get the vest back for the next 12 miles.  At mile 41 I would once again drop the vest and use my hip belt that carries a 16 oz. bottle on the back for the last 9 miles.  Why a hip belt the last 9 miles?  Well once of the ascents on the last 9 miles is technical enough to need my hand to go up so I wanted two hands for that.  The hip belt gets put on like a pair of shorts so it would a bit uncomfortable to put on after 41 miles on the leg but I figured it’ll be worth having the hands free for that one section of the climb. Fog hit sections of the drive up limiting my vision to just about half a block ahead of me to causing the drive to be slightly more stressful than normal.  

Made it at 3:53 to the Anthony Wayne parking lot and got a shuttle bus to Bear Mountain around 4 am.  I pulled out my drop bag tabs and attached them during the ride.  At Bear Mountain I continued setting my drop bags, I grabbed a three of the huckleberry favored gels and put them in the drop bag going to camp Lanowa (mile 23, 29).  Next was a porter potty bathroom visit, then drop the other two bags (one was a change of clothes that stayed at the finish).   I went to bathroom again, I think more so of nerves, nothing came out.  I met Ami briefly who was also doing the 50 miler.  Among the chatter of the people I noticed a few West Point students and Canadians.  The announcer at the start said some deep things - how millennials of star dusk lead us to be here today at this point to accomplish our destinies.  I was in wave 3 and the waves went off just a minute after each other so it was pretty quick start.  Instead of the 7 am start in California, the 5 am start required the use of a headlamp for the first half hour or so.

Hold 

Knowing I went out too fast in Lake Sonoma I decided to start off slower this time.  With 3 miles of gradual uphill right away, I didn’t set a pace goal but rather went with effort level.  Placement going into single track is usually important in trail races but I did a preview of the first 7.5 miles a week after Sonoma where I decided I should make a move on the road portion of seven lakes drive and along the preceding wide ski trail 6 miles in if I still felt like I was moving too slow.  The race quickly got congested and I was aghast that people were trying to avoid mud.  It’s spring in NY, there’s going to be mud.  I ended up walking a bit more than I wanted to due to the congestion.  Perhaps I should have tried to out faster?  Still had plenty of miles for placement though.  Ami who started a wave behind me caught up for a brief moment and then lost her.  She did a 20 mile run two weeks ago at a good pace so I thought she would probably pass me at some point.  She was probably being extra cautious, it being her first 50 miler and all.  I started out with my Queen’s marathon beanie but it soon got too hot so I removed it.  The headlamp on my bare forehead didn’t feel as comfortable but I knew it was only for a few minutes longer.  I continued up conga line till the first aid station at Anthony Wayne.  

I blew past this first aid station.  Runners seemed to have crowded up here for some reason.  The next part was a short technical single track where it would be difficult to pass people so I would think people would want to keep moving.  You had the option of dropping off your headlamp at this aid station so maybe that’s what people did.  I simply packed it into my vest, along with the Queens Marathon beanie.  Other than those two, my pack only had gels and water.  I did a training run 2 weeks before and I knew exactly how this section of trail curved and moved.  This was a bit surprising to me, since trails in the same area kind do tend to look the same and I only been in this area a couple of times over the last few years.  I moved well in this section and soon we popped into seven lakes drive and started a short road section south.  I didn’t however move well on the road and many pasted me here.  This not moving well on the road would be a constant theme of the day.  We soon merged left into the silver mines ski trail where immediately we were greeted with mud.  For the most part, I would go straight through the mud, knowing that there will be mud spots later on and I didn’t want to waste precious energy avoiding them now.  I continued pacing myself, it had spread out quite nicely but no real groups yet.  I continued my strategy of jogging the uphill’s but with more room I started running down hard.  My quads didn’t get sore from 10,500 feet of loss that Lake Sonoma had so I wasn’t worried at all about them here (less than 7,000 feet of loss).  Bear Mountain descends were steeper so you moved faster downhill with gravity’s help anyway so it made sense to not hold back.  This was more to my liking, perhaps because it’s more familiar.

Learning from Lake Sonoma that a gel every 30 minutes wasn’t enough I decided to eat a gel every 25 minutes.  I started off with 6 gels and would restock in the hammer gels the race provides.  I would always leave an aid station with at least 4 gels on me.  Unlike Lake Sonoma, aid stations here were more frequent, most were 4ish miles apart.  As I passed by Silver Mine Lake I recalled looking at the lake for the first time 4 years ago.   Back then, I saw pockets of steam rising from the lake.  It was incredible beautify with the sun rising in the background.  Today it was cloudy and I saw no such effect.  The route climbs out of the ski trail to a single track climb.  I hiked most of it up.  It then descents quickly to the Silver Mine aid station at mile 8.7.  I grabbed a few chips, ate a small piece of white potato and refilled my 8 oz. bottle with water (I carried a 16 oz. bottle and a 8 oz. bottle in the front of my vest with a backup 8 oz. in the back).  I stuck to drinking only water the first 35 miles.
Steady
Out of the aid station, the trail starts fairly easy.  Somehow, I still trip over a small rock on a turn which causes the runner in front of me to ask if I am okay.  I reply that I’m grateful for the toe guards that trail shoes have.  We soon merges with the long path and the trail gets technical.  While there are no great mountain ascents, the trail is still fairly rocky.  On a steep technical descent that a runner in front of me struggles with, I decide to pass her by going off to the side and end up slipping, landing on my butt.  I get up immediately with no pain which helps relieve any fear I had of future descents (I know I can’t get hurt, even if I fall).  I occasional hit rocks but the toe guards on my trail shoes protect my feet.  Each hit though wakes me up and I start paying attention more.  Groups start to form but I’m not interested.  I don’t allow anyone to pace me.  The ascents, descents, and the rock hopping of technical terrain makes it difficult to pace with effort levels.  I often slowed down on the flat, non-rocky terrain to check myself and my effort level.  During these straight stretches I often fall behind the group.  Then over descents and technical terrain I easily catch up.  It’s way too early to start attacking anything and I don’t want to make any extra effort to keep up with anyone.  Eventually I end up leading the group. 

We pass by beautiful Lake Skannatati and the aid station there.  At the aid station I ate more potatoes and left a bit full.  I didn’t want to take a gel while having a full stomach so I skipped my next gel.  As we move along, I notice the Times Square rock and immediately recognize the area.  I’m in one of my favorite areas of Harriman state park!  As we approach mile 20, I briefly talk with another runner.  He has done the race a few times and we talk about the course and how most of the elevation gain is almost over with.  We exit onto a road and make our way to Camp Lanowa.  On this road section to the camp I easily get passed by the group.  I catch up to a woman, Veronica who is doing her first 50 miler.  I told her I’m doing my 9th depending on if you count a 54 miler.  She immediately asked if it was Manotu’s Revenge which surprised me.  When I asked on what inspired her to do her first 50 miler she says she lives close by and wanted to show her 4 year son that mommy could do fun things.  I mentioned that I was feeling hungry and she offer a gel but I declined.  I wanted to stay faithful to my 25 minute gel.  I would learn from the race that my body is better able to process the gels than real food.  Gels simply made me feel like I had more energy than real food and I don’t feel stuffed.  This sort of goes against the preference for real food ideals I hold.  I started feeling a side stich as I got closer to the aid station and I figure it may have been because the running vest was on too tight, limiting my breath.  Doesn’t matter as I was to switch to handheld soon.

At the aid station I stick to my strategy of switching water carrying methods to the handle held bottle.  My bib number 10 gets me an upfront placement of my drop bag and I am able to get everything I need quickly (though I do see how having a crew could turn my 2 minutes at the aid station to 20-30 seconds).  Despite having gels in the drop bag I grab a few from the aid station in case they run out on my return.  The route goes on an uphill where a group of West Point College kids past me.  I past Veronica as well.  A man with an English accent catches up to me and I offer to let him pass.  He declines saying we are going about the same speed.  He asks about the flag on the back of my singlet and I replied that it was the flag of Queens County.  He was happy to have learned something new on the trails.  This reminded me of a 50 miler in Arizona where a man name Jeff taught me all the plants around while we ran together.  The trail turns into a wide gravel fire tower roads.  I yo-yo with a college age looking kid.  Every time I passed him I would say the typical trail running encourage thing.  “Good job”, “nice work”, etc.  On the third one he thanked me and said I was helping him which made me feel good.  On a flooded section, I dashed straight across while the English accent man goes to the side to avoid.  He jokes about alligators in the swamp.  I remark that I’m happy there were no rocks in it (looking at you Lake Sonoma).  He soon passes me and catches up to another man.  He probably started talking to him as the man looked like he was struggling and then all of a sudden got super powered when they started running together.  I slowly fell behind them.  This section is 6 miles long but the easy of the gravel trail makes it short time wise.  Back on the road heading to back to Camp Lanowa I get passed by Veronica and the college age looking kid I was going back and forth with.  I got my bib marked by a woman who recognized the singlet.  She mentioned that she thinks her cousin was part of the team, Valerie Lores, to which I responded that yes, I know her!
Fire!
Back to the racing vest.  In my rush in the morning I forgot to pack my anti-fatigue pills into my racing vest and had left them at this drop bag.  I made sure to pick those up but I forgot to empty out the headlamp and my beanie from my vest.  I loaded up on potatoes and once again felt full.  I would skip my next two gels, opting to take the anti-fatigue pills instead.  The North Face Endurance Challenge races allows pacers for their 50 milers.  Pacers here are different than pacers in road races.  A pacer in an ultra joins a specific runner in the latter part of their race.  In this race, a pacer could join either at mile 29 and/or mile 41.  So you could have one pacer run 12 miles with you, then have another run the last 9 with you, have one pacer run 21 miles with you or simply have a pacer run the last 9 miles with you.  Veronica got her pacer and mentioned that her legs feel fine but she just went out too fast.  They then charged on ahead.  Pacers are definitely a huge advantage in races.  The trail now went onto old fire roads.  Wide but muddy at many spots.  I tried catching up to Veronica and the group around her.  I was starting to feel tired and would have liked to at least be around people.  My shoelace got untied twice on my left foot and by the second time I went to fix it, I lost sight of everyone.  Alone, the pain started creeping in but I welcomed it.  I knew I would start hurting at mile 30 something.  Learning to beat the pain is what I came for.  I rallied in my mind thinking about it.  I told myself that this is what I came for, that I today I say no to the god of death.  The announcer words about this being my destiny rang in my head.  I was able to keep my effort level high. 

Soon I met another runner, Adam who grew up in Westchester and now resides in Manhattan.  When I asked about what inspired him he said he heard about ultras back when he was in college and decided that he would do one day when he got older.  He then turned thirty and decided it had to be soon.  He did the Bear Mountain trail marathon 2 years ago, the 50k last year and is now the 50 miler.  On a downhill I decide to go down fast and Adam gets stuck behind someone.  On the following road section Adam catches up again.  I feel that he could go faster but he decides to stick around and talk.  It’s his first 50 and he is being cautious.  I walk a bit and then use the cones marking the course as points to start jogging between.  Back into the trails I continue talking with Adam, we talk about triathlons, my goal race of UTMB, the difficultly of training on trails in the city.  I asked if he was part of any running club or team and he said he had odd hours making it difficult to run with others.  I briefly talk about my 100 miler and he says he can’t imagine doing it but he likes the idea of doing a hundred.  Talking makes the miles click away.  On a descent I lose him a bit but I keep an eye out to see out hoping he catches up. 

I make it to Tiorati aid station, here 4 years ago is where I got revived thanks to the encouragement of the volunteers.  Back then, by the time I arrived they had ran out of water. A volunteer has some in his car and ran to get me some.  There was no real food left, just cliff gels and I got my pack filled with ice while I waited for the water.  I was advised not to drink too much and to book the next 10k to make the cutoff.  They told me that I could make it and that I could even see the Pacquiao vs Mayflower fight later at night. 

As I finish stocking up in the present, I see Adam pass by, not stopping at all.  I pass a man with tattoos on both his arms.  We been going back and forth for miles and we will continue for a quite few more.  The trail is rolling hills and I make it to the next aid station, Owl Swamp.  The aid station looks different but when I reached here 4 years ago, they were already packing.  Back then, I asked how I was doing on time and the man looked at his watched and asked if I really wanted to know.  The women tells me to run what’s runnable.  I immediately start sprinting uphill before she yells out her statement.  I realize that I should hike technical uphill, that being desperate doesn’t mean being stupid.

Past the aid station in the present, the trail goes uphill a bit and then has a long downhill descent.  The downhill helps I gain momentum and I realize that I can’t stop, I have to keep using the momentum I am getting from the downhill.  I ran through the muddy, swampy area harder than ever, passing many people.  The trail merges with the 50k and marathon route.  I thought merging with these runners would be a boost since I could say hi to more people but the ones I started catching were struggling, death walking marathoners.  I try to say encouraging words but most don’t respond, clearly they are beyond their element.  Near the end of the long descent is a short uphill and I complain to some 50k runners about it.  I could see the Palisades Parkway on the side and I know I am close to Anthony Wayne parking lot.  I’m close to the mile 41 aid station.  I kept thinking in my head that even if I walk the last 7 miles it won’t be so bad.  Here I was running strong to mile 41. 
You can’t outrun death

At the aid station, I struggled a bit to find my drop bag, not as neatly organized as Camp Lanowa.  Once found, I stick to my plan - drop the vest and put on my hip belt.  I refueled my bottle with heed, stocked up on gel and ate some more potatoes.  There is a road section, maybe a quarter mile long before it merges with a mountain bike trail.  I’m very familiar with this area as I hiked and trained here quite a few times.  However shortly after I leave the aid station, I find that I could barely move my legs.  I can’t even walk at a normal pace.  I’m shocked at the betrayal of my body.  My mind quickly enters into a negative headspace.  UTMB now seems impossible.  I can’t even do 41 miles, how am I going to do one of the hardest 100 milers in the world?   In Europe, with over 4x the elevation gain of this race?  I decide that I should stick to marathons and 50ks; that I’ll quit after this.  Anthony Wayne is the parking lot where I parked my car and I think of how great it would be if I could jump in my car and just sleep (I didn’t have my car keys however).  I strongly thought about turning around and heading back to the aid station to DNF.  I tell myself that I didn’t have anything left to prove, that I already did 50 miles plenty of times; that it would be okay to DNF.  Even with those thoughts swarming in my head, I guess I was too stubborn, I continued forward.  In my quarter mile zombie walk, 9 people walked pasted by.  Three told me that I could comfortably hike the rest of the 9 miles and finish the race.  Yea, that’s really what I want to hear.

When I finally made it to the trail, I slowly found some movement in my legs.  Soon I am able to run downhill's and jog the flats.  As I gained momentum I realize that my legs had gotten stiff; I had probably spent too much time at the last aid station standing around.  With this knowledge I decided that I would keep moving the rest of the race.  I hiked up the technical bald face climb, the same climb which lead to my decision of using the hip belt over another handheld.  On the steep descent that followed I told a runner about how what I just learned…that continuing to move is critical at this stage.  Soon I pasted by two Achilles guides guiding a runner for the 50k.  One of the women recognized my QDR singlet and asked if I knew Kevin and Jeff Munoz to which I said yes.  They were trying to get their runner to start running.  I wished I could stayed a bit longer to chat but I knew I had to keep moving.  I was trying to outrun the death of my legs.  A little past I saw a ranger that was coming to help a blinder runner.  I guess to help out the Achilles group.  I didn’t realize at that point but running blind in this kind of terrain is simply amazing.  I would imagine Rock the Ridge type of gravel road “trails” to be better suited.  Perhaps even the Greenbelt 50k or the road 50k championships in Long Island.  Pretty amazing.  I soon pasted the runner with the arm tattoos, for like the fourth time.  I also encouraged him to keep moving. 

Home
At the next aid station I refilled my bottle with heed.  I was slightly annoyed that I had to refill from the Gatorade jug instead of a gallon bottle which would have been faster.  I was racing against my body’s clock.  If I linger too long, I knew that my legs would get stiff again.  4 years ago I was here stuffing my face with M&Ms and taking my time through the aid station.  A volunteer advised me to not spend too much time.  I didn’t understand at first but shortly after I learned why.  My legs stiffen up back then as well and it took quite a while to get them back. 

Now here I was, refilled my bottle while doing toe ups, toe taps to keep my legs moving.  I rushed out of the aid station and almost forgot to thank the volunteers.  As I moved on, I started hitting an emotional high.  It was probably the strongest feeling I had during a run in a long time.  The pain from my body simply disappeared.  The stiffness, soreness, even mental tiredness of being awake since 1:40 am slowly faded gone.  All doubt disappeared too.  There simply wasn’t any room for anything but running now.  The trigger felt like it was purely emotional.  I held back tears.  I hit many highs after low points over the years but this felt completely new.  With my refreshed body I started running like the race just started.  To sort of explain how strong this state was, I caught up to and passed people at miles 46-49 that passed me at mile 30.

I met a man, one of whom tried to encourage me on back when I was zombie walking.  He commented that I got a second wind and I joked that I was back from the dead.  I then proceed to run the steep and long uphill up Timp’s pass.  The descent was very rocky and I was slightly upset that I couldn’t take full advantage of the downhills as I had to careful with my steps.  A runner commented that she would rather go up that rocky section seven times than descend it.  As I continued along on single track, some people had to step off the trail to let me pass.  I cried at the realization of how painful it must be to stop your momentum, even if you are just walking, to let me pass.  I started breathing harder, maybe going more into animal mode but after a mile or so I calmed down.  The pain never returned.  I caught up to a man I haven’t seen since mile 20.  He commented that this was his 5th Bear Mountain and he keeps coming back to it despite all the pain he feels now.  He also had a high a little bit ago but it weaned out.  He was running strong and we ran side to side.  Eventually He went over to the side when the trail narrowed to allow me to past.  I wasn’t planning on speeding up but I decided to not waste his efforts to allow me to past.  I ran faster.  He encouraged me to continue to ride the unicorn.  I caught up to Veronica and her pacer, still going strong and told her she was killing it.  Like the first aid station of the race, I blew through the last one.  I immediately thanked the volunteers as I went through.  I past a bunch others from shorter distances and I tried to encourage them.  They said positive things to me as well.  I knew I was home and that spurned me on.  

Out of the underpass tunnel back to Bear Mountain, two women encouraged me on, yelling QDR.  I was only able to read the word “trail” on their gray shirts.  Heading towards the finish I got slightly confused on where to go.  A women running in front of me made a right and left and I followed.  Without her, I was ready to run straight through the parking lot to the finish.  (This being said, the race is super well marked and organized, they definitely went all out to make sure you don’t get lost).  I managed a final sprint to the finish, around 7:20 minutes a mile pace.

After finishing I saw the runner in front of me use a hand sanitizer which I used as well.  Pretty cool that they had it, they also had sun screen and breakfast at the morning, definitely a step above many other races.  I grabbed two of my drop bags - the finish line one and the Camp Lawona bag.  My Anthony Wayne’s bag did not come in yet.  I proceed then to get hammer recovery drink and food.  Sadly the only vegetarian option was pasta salad so I got a whole plate of pasta salad with a sprite can.  I then sat on a table and slowly started eating.  Despite surviving mostly on gels the whole day I didn’t have much of an appetite.  I knew food was important however.  I talked at the table with a bunch of other finishers.  A man talked about the Spartan Ultra beast in Killington being harder despite being 20 miles shorter.  Two men, when I mentioned I will be doing UTMB, spoke of the beauty of Chaminix (France, where the race starts and ends).  I met a runner from Brooklyn, Nate and we talked quite a bit about triathlons as a gateway drug to ultras, his Bigfoot 200 race coming up and my UTMB race.  He is running the Vermont 100 next to continue his build up.  I confessed that I been looking at the 200s for quite some time but been too chicken to pull the trigger.  Ami soon found me and told me she DNF at mile 35.  She couldn’t run anymore and didn’t want to hike the remaining 15 miles.  Having DNFed 3 ultras in a row 3 years ago I tried to optimistic about it and told her not to doubt her decision in the future.  Nate got joined by his group, a Japanese runner from Harlem and another runner, John, who volunteered as a sweep.  I didn’t notice it before but it seems that there are quite a lot of Filipinos in ultras (at least in NY).

In the shuttle bus back I talked with a man from Westchester.  He was also doing the Vermont 100 and was impressed that I was doing UTMB.  He joked about me taking on Killian to which I replied I’ll bring some bees.  We talked a bit about training spots in Westchester - Rockefeller State Park was his favorite.  I dropped Ami off in Astoria which was nice since I got someone to talk to on the drive back.

Despite the finishing times of Lake Sonoma and Bear Mountain being quite close, the race experiences were polar opposites.  With no out and backs in the course in Bear Mountain I didn’t see any of the front pack.  While I always enjoy company, I stuck to my own pace, dictated by my effort level.  With better pacing I was able to avoid bonking till mile 41 versus the mile 13 at Sonoma.  When that low point finally did hit me though, it hit a lot harder than any of my low points in California.  In return, my high was so much stronger and I felt like I finished stronger than 3 weeks ago (it’s hard to compare times between trail races since terrain is a major impact on time).  I was able to talk with more people, both during and after the race in New York than California.  While the calves did hurt at points during beginning parts of the race, it was the quads that got trashed this time around.  Perhaps my calves are finally getting use to zero drop shoes?  Or perhaps this indicates the amount of elevation loss is not the only factor to quad soreness, terrain and speed might have been a more important variables.  Or perhaps all the hops and jumps that technical terrain demands does a number on the quads as well?  

Perhaps the most important lesson is that I really need to work on my mental game.  I should know that low points come and go and I should stay positive.  I really let my head go in a bad headspace, lucky I wasn’t around others.  I heard that misery loves company and that the negative headspace is contagious.  I need to devise ways to get through aid stations quicker and I’m going to have to think hard about food.  Could I survive 100 miles on gels?

UTMB, my goal race of the year, seems more daunting for me than ever before though.  A little more than 3 months to try to change that.

Lake Placid Ironman 70.3

Lake Placid Ironman 70.3 “Anything is possible”

Backstory You can Skip

Signing up

A little over two years ago I decided to go out to New Hampshire and watch Cathy in the Timberman Ironman 70.3.  It was quite the experience, seeing how the pros moved around transition like a machine was pretty cool.  I was inspired by Cathy’s performance added doing one to my bucketlist.  I always had the idea of doing a full ironman but no timetable to do one at that point.  A month later registration for Lake Placid 70.3 came up and I got tagged by Cathy on FB.  I signed up shorty later!

Backstory - The Swim

After the race, I started going back to the pool to relearn how to swim.  I took classes 8 years ago at Baruch College.  I was one of the three people in the class who had no idea how to swim.  I would spend an extra half hour or so practicing after class ends which was a lot for me back then (but now thinking about it, once a week wasn’t much).  I managed to swim my first lap without stopping at the exam in the end.  I stopped swimming as soon as the class ended so it was 6 years of no swimming where I started up again. I practiced in the kids section as the lane swimming was entirely deep end and that was scary.  The pool for aquatics center closed for yearly maintenance and I stopped going.  March 2017 came and I signed up for Ridgefield tri, a sprint tri in June.  I moved to western Queens and got LIC YMCA membership for their pool.  The non-deep pool ended up being a good starting point.  I swam my second pool lap without stopping about 3 weeks before Ridgefield.  You could kind of see where this goes.  I got pulled out of Ridgefield tri within 4 minutes.  That was my first time in a wetsuit and in open water but at that point I wasn’t even comfortable with the deep end of a pool.

Afterwards I took advance swim beginner lessons in the Y.  I didn't get much out of it.  The instructor was a college student and was teaching adults for the first time.  He didn't have much of a structure to the class and just went with what people wanted to do.  I also went to Coney Island for open water and Lake Tioritti in Harriman which helped a lot but never ventured beyond where my feet couldn’t touch.  Lake placid came and this time after freaking out for about 20 minutes I got coached by John in a kayak and made it about a mile before getting cut from the swim (an hour and 25 minutes in the water).  I credit the experience, the keeping going when everything seems hopeless, for my 100 mile finish a few weeks later.  My focus was the 100 miler and I didn’t get enough swimming practice in.  I was still not comfortable with pool swimming at that point.

I knew that I would try again and when registration for 2018 Lake Placid came I would try again.  My approach to training wasn't too different.  I still slacked off in swimming but my time in Mirror Lake gave me experience.  I was more aware of how water environments could influence the body and had some backup ways to fall back on.  I signed up for Ridgefield again and this time I was able to finish.

Backstory - The Bike

Of the three sports, cycling was the only one I started in childhood.  Much of my elementary school summer days was spent doing one mile loops on a cheap mountain bike.  Though the internet eventually took over my hobbies at middle school I never forgot the balance I learned as a kid.  When I finally brought a road bike after my undergrad years I picked up cycling quickly.  I never struggled with clip-ons and such.  Everything came back naturally, as if I only been off the bike for a year or so, not 13 years.  When I did ride, I loved it but getting myself out the door for bike rides was a challenge.  I did fewer than 8 bikes rides a year till I moved to western Queens.  There I found it quicker to commute via bike than subway so I got citibike membership. 3 miles on citibike was most of my time on a bike.

Backstory – The Run

I wrote a bit about getting into running before so just a quick summary.  I started running a year after undergraduate college as a way to lose weight.  I started with the goal of jogging 4 miles without a walking break that soon became a half marathon in a few months.  Friends got me to sign up for my first and second marathon.  As my fitness improved I quickly moved into trail ultras as a way to train for long hikes.  After getting injured on my second marathon I lost interest in speed and went for distance.  50 miles, 100k, and eventually 100 miles.  After going vegan and rapidly losing weight I started getting free speed which brought the idea of speed for the first time.  Joining Queens Distance helped push me causing me to also improve as a runner as well.  As my main sport, I knew that no matter how beat up the swim and bike left me I could do decent in the run.

Summer 2018

Summer came and my focus was once again at what I love.  Trail ultras.  The more rocks, roots, and boulders, to climb on the way – the more fun.  I went through three 50 mile races and did my own 50k.  It was August by the time I finished and I decided to devote a month for tri training towards Lake Placid.  It wasn’t till I started the training that I realized how little time that was.  I crammed in as many as three workouts a day.  During my ultras I realized that hiking muscles were not the same as running muscles and if I thought about it further I would have realized that running muscles are not the same as biking.  My calves got more and more sore the more I biked and I was trying to get faster at running at the same time.  Finally after Percy I reduced running miles, something hard for me to do to allow time for more tri training.  The cramming eventually burnt me out about a week before the race.  Lucky it was in time for Labor Day weekend which I was hoping to make it to.  The weekend before Labor Day weekend I had a great swim in the Long Island sound in LI.  It lead me to think that cycling was going to be my big weakness. 

Pre-race week

The Monday before I race I went to Lake Placid to swim in Mirror Lake to practice in the swim course of the lake.  It went badly as I dealt with similar issues as the year before.  Later on the day I saw the transition area being set up and my stomach turned.  I started panicking and it took me two days to mentally recover.  I find it weird that it was seeing them set up the transition area, not Mirror Lake that caused me to panic.  It was as if my brain remembered how nervous I was last year and all those feeling came back in full force.  Convinced that I was going to die I looked at my life choices that led me to here and I went through a range of emotions.  I think I just had to sort through my thoughts. 

I decided to drop cycling and running and just focus on the swim.  I swam at Baruch for two mornings.  It’s the coldest pool I knew and I wanted to eliminate the shock of cold water.  I also swam continuous in pool practice for the first time, I usually take a break after 50 meters or so. 

I arrived at Mirror Lake the day before the race at 7:30 am.  Around the same time that the race will take place the following day to swim in similar conditions.  By then a lot of athletics were already swimming, biking, and running.  A lot of swimmers swam 2 buoys down and then cut across to the return lane buoys and swam back.  About 15 minutes swim for them.  Some Canadians complained about how warm the water was.  I swam back and forth about 80 meters out, not quite making it to the first buoy.  I was still too scared.  I swam for about 20 minutes.  Then I biked out to the 86 and returned, this way I got the last few miles of the cycling portion done.  Cycled for about 35 minutes.  During the bike I realized how stunning beautiful the bike course is.  I noticed it before while driving but seriously, I won’t mind biking 112 miles with views like that (hint hint).  I still had some time so I decided to do a 2 mile run at an easy pace to finish my own triathlon.  Then ate brunch at a vegetarian place before meeting up with Michael and Jackie at bib pickup.

Bib pickup went pretty similar to last year except they didn’t weigh us this time.  We got our numbers, filled out waivers, got the bib and swim cap and then the shirt.  We then got our bikes and moved to the village/transition area.  Compared to previous years there was a lack of brand ambassador promoting products at the village.  Guess they’re getting cheaper?  (I remember the Timberman village two years ago being more alive when I wasn’t even competing, a bit more dead last year and pretty dead this year).  I picked up the Lake Placid Ironman bag which in the merch tent which I guess was available to me last year as well but no one told me.  Dropped my bike off.  I listened to the “mandatory” pre-race briefing (they don’t record you attending so not sure how mandatory it was).  I found it more informative than last year. 

The cold was a big concern, 32 degree in the morning so we went around shopping.  Most stores were already sold out of cold biking gear.  Jackie and Michael then went to get in quick swims.  I was tempted to join them but I knew I could only hurt myself at this point.  Michael explained to me the difference between mirror and clear googles which should explain how much of a newbie I still am to swimming.  Afterwards we checked in to the Airbnb, went back into town.  Got food and ate with a beautiful view of Mirror Lake.  We then went to Price Chopper to get some beer and breakfast.  Had a celebratory toast and then a call with Cathy getting some last minute tips.  Watch the Office 5k episodes before going to sleep.

Race Day

We woke at 4:30 am and left by 5:10 am.  After parking we took a shuttle bus to the start (it was a 5 minute walk but meh).  Got our body marking and set up our transition areas.  We were informed that this was the coldest Ironman start in history.  I then went out of transition to swim start for a no line porter potty upon the advice of the transition area announcer.  I wish I brought my camera because the fog/mist coming out of the lake was an amazing sight.  They allowed us to have morning bags, a bag which you could drop off right by the swim start.  I didn’t pack an extra jacket with me so I decided to wear my causal running shoes barefoot and then use my causal socks as gloves.  I would save my jacket for the bike ride so I left it in transition.  On my way to swim start the second time around, as transition area was closing I forgot my socks so I went sockless on my shoes for no reason.  I met with Michael briefly and dropped off my shoes in the morning bag.  I decided to go in the warmup area of the water to get in a few strokes for confidence.  Michael went to the warming tent.  I intended to join him but after I was ready there was a long line of people waiting to enter the swim blocking the entrance to the warming tent.  So I went back into the water.  Despite the water being warmer than air temperature I was shivering.  Swim times are self-assigned, you could by pace rather than age and gender as many other tris.  If you go into a pace group faster than you, you simply will get swam over by faster swimmers.  It’s not pretty if you are slower.  Had some small friendly conversations with others waiting in the water.  I joined the last group and entered the water at 7:59.

The Swim

I had the choice of using my long sleeve wet suit or the sleeveless wetsuit that I borrowed from David Corona.  The long sleeve wetsuit might have kept me warmer in the wait for the start but I loved how easy it was to take off the sleeveless wetsuit.  I didn’t notice a change in buoyance. 

It should be known that my form for open water swimming is horrible.  I breathe every stroke.  I started off swimming pretty well.  Lake placid has a cable three feet under the water that runs down the swim course.  I avoided the battle for the line by being one person left of the line where I could still see the line but not get swam over by people right on top of it.  I ended up preferring to swim next to someone on the line.  Easier to see a person than a cable.  About a third of the way, I gobbled in some water and instead of calmly breathing it out and getting back to my rhythm, I went to my back to catch my breath.  To my surprise there was a pack of swimmers behind me and they all passed in my break.  I lost some time here dodging them and getting back to the line.  Back to the front and at the turnaround point I found that the cable also does a turn.  I previously thought I would have to sight till I got to the return buoys but not at all.  I saw a man swimming backstroke the whole way and wonder how he could tell where he was going.  The return felt like forever and I started feeling tired.  My neck hurt, probably from constantly turning my head right to breath.  I flipped over for a break and then continued.  I started to switch between my normal pool form where I breathe every 4 strokes and the every stroke open water form I was doing.  I noticed an immediate difference in speed.  About 400 meters left I got a cramp on my right calf.  I don’t usually cramp so I went on my back and kept my leg straight as I attempted to teach myself backstroke.  A standup paddleboard person saw me and I swam over to take a break.  After a minute I continued along my way.  My right calf cramped again shortly after and I once again went on back.  The lady on the standup paddleboard came back to help but I said I was okay.  I figured the cramp would go away and I wanted to keep moving.  I don’t know how to do backstroke (freestyle is the only form I know) but I know you could float on your back and raise your arms halfway up and then bring back down to move a bit.  It was slow but I used that to keep moving as the cramp went away.  Back to the front and a little later my left calf cramped up.  Same thing again.  Maybe I should have drank some electrolytes before starting the swim.  I soon left the yellow cable.  I found someone else swimming and swam next to them.  I used them to sight for me instead of sighting for the last 100 meters or so.  Lucky, they went the right way.

T1

Finishing the swim was pretty emotional for me and I cried as I ran barefoot to my bike.  I was also happy that people stuck around to cheer for the back of the pack swimmers like me.  My transition spot was close to the changing tent so I opted to completely get off my wet clothes in the changing tent and switch to my cycling clothes.  I forgot to bring my towel into the changing tent but to my surprise I was pretty dry (water didn’t get in the wetsuit).  After the cycling clothes I put a jacket on and cycling gloves.  Put the helmet on and off to the bike ride.  I think I did well on time despite using the change room.  I forgot my water bottle in the car, I was planning on drinking an entire bottle of hammer heed electrolyte drink but had to settle which my science in sport gel instead. Forgetting the water bottle would have big consequences later on as the next aid station where I got fluids was on mile 20 of the bike ride.  I also decided to go sockless on my cycling shoes.  Something I practiced once before 40 miles bike ride with Jess and Omar.

Bike

I got my tri bike a few weeks before the race and I still wasn’t set for it yet.  I lower the seat and raise the handlebars a bit but I still need to work on fitting and was still not use to changing the gears on it.  Still I knew I was faster on the tri bike than on my road bike with the same amount of effort and I wanted that free speed.  My unfamiliarly with changing gears caused me to stand up on all the uphills to use more muscles to push through higher gears (this is something I do often on the citibike, stand up on the ride up Queensboro bridge).  I passed a lot of people but initially people would pass me on the downhills.  Then I remember last year, Omar taught me about aerodynamics positing and how to get into a faster position on downhills which helped.  I ate a hammer gel and cliff block without any water trying to get calories in.  At mile 20 I finally got to an aid station.  I had no idea what they would look like.  How do cyclist get water during a race?  The aid stations are set up pretty much the same as running water stations except they give out full bottles.  The volunteers were set up on the right side and lucky I’m more comfortable with my right hand being free.  I took a Gatorade bottle, even with slowing down to grab one I felt like my hand hit the bottle a bit hard.  I didn’t have enough time to drop it in my bottle cage so I freed up two fingers on my right hand and grabbed a cliff block with those fingers.  Pretty successful on my first try.  I immediately drank half the Gatorade bottle.  Around mile 35 I decided to start pushing hard to the finish.  I went to max gear and was going at around 20 miles per hour.  It felt like I was flying but it was too soon and by mile 40 I was burning out.  At the next aid station I took a water bottle but the Poland Spring sports bottle was thinner than the Gatorade sports bottle and it didn’t stick to my C shape bottle cage.  I only was able to drink a quarter of it before it fell over (lucky no one behind me).  I also ate the cliff block I got from the aid station.  At the final aid station I got another Gatorade bottle and drank a third of it.  Then we approached the three bears climb which I did the day before and I knew we were near the end.  I wasn’t able to push harder however.  Overall, I think could have done better on the bike if I actually trained for it.  My inexperience caused me to push harder (like in an inefficient way) and push to finish too soon.  Also by using a jacket over my cycling jersey I got cut off from my back pockets and struggled a bit with using my jacket pockets with storage of gels.  I would opt for using a gel flask instead too to make it easier for one hand nutrition.

T2

T2 was quick.  I took off my cycling shoes and put on hiking socks.  My darn tough hiking socks were nice and wide so I didn’t have to struggle to quickly put them on as the usual thin running shoes are.  I had my running shoes already double tied so I just slipped them on.  I put my Queens Distance jersey on which already had the bib pinned on it.  Quickly went to bathroom and took a cup of water before heading out.  I had a cliff gel and a hammer gel in cycling jersey pockets.  I immediately notice it bounce around and didn’t like it. 

The run

My feet immediately felt hot as I started running.  I think it might have been a combo of being sockless for 56 miles on the bike and then putting on thick hiking socks.  No blisters developed though (but those are already extremely rare for me).  I started off at a strong pace.  Around 8 minutes in the start falling back to 8:30ish.  I should have looked at a map to know where to expect the aid stations.  The first one came too soon for me to eat a gel and drink water so I just took some Gatorade.  Got a gel in the second one.  At mile 2.6 I saw Jackie on the out and back and gave a high five.  A little bit later someone yelled QDR and then I saw Michael shortly after too, I think 3.9 miles in for me.  I felt pretty energized, seeing my friends and that random QDR shout helped.  I bonked hard at mile 7 and I even started to feel dizzy.  This was new!  I think it was due to not drinking enough fluids and not taking in enough nutrition in the bike ride.  I did have to go to bathroom (which might indicate I’m hydrated) before I started the run but that might have just been from water ingested during the swim.  Maybe I drank too much lake water and ended up flushing out electrolytes?  I struggled the rest of the way.  I used a lot of my mental strategies – thoughts of friends and family to push myself during the bike ride so burnt out of those usual fallbacks, I went to the basic aim for a cone.  After you reach the cone, aim for the next one.  I started drinking two gatorades at the aid stations which helped me feel better.  I craved fruit but there was always someone blocking the one person giving out fruit and I didn’t want to stop to take some.  I didn’t recover, the race wasn’t long enough for that but my finish probably looked a bit strong because I knew it was over. 

Finish

Upon finishing I felt pretty weak and I would have probably collapsed but a volunteer walked with me.  She allowed me to lean a bit on to her and then a EMS came to help me as well.  Off I went to the medical on the promise that there was broth there.  Surprise, it was chicken broth so I had to settle on crackers to get some salt in.  They checked my vitals and it was fine which I knew.  I got some soda and fruit in.  I was advised to eat whatever felt good.  I then went back to the finish where they were some food.  I was disappointed at the lack of vegan options but I guess this isn’t an ultra, can’t expect much.  They had turkey and ham subway sandwiches, pizza, mac and cheese and fruit.  I’m too use to trail ultras where they have real food at the end.  I met with the group shortly after and they helped me pack.  They finished more than 40 minutes before me!  After some finishing photos at the parking lot we drove to Poughkeepsie for Thai food for dinner.  Thanks to Michael for keeping me company for most of the drive back down.  It was really good hearing about how the race went for him.